Standing in the Sky
by KousukeAsazuki
Summary: Two different scenarios of the final moments before Kira's death on the battlefield. GinKira-centric, but only lightly implied and not necessarily romantically.
1. Standing in the Sky

Just a (relatively angsty) 'what-if' scenario regarding Kira and his ending thoughts on, naturally, Ichimaru. Break out the tissues now~

* * *

There was no sound, and that was reason enough to be concerned. Of course, in the blurred state of consciousness he was seeing the world through currently, there was no saying that the lieutenant would hear an explosion right next to his head. That was, naturally, another reason for worry.

Slowly, the events that brought him to his current position leaked back through his mind. Everyone was fighting-- no, correction, everyone was _dying_-- around him. Finally, the captains (along with the aid of that strange Vizard) had Aizen cornered. It seemed impossible that he was going down, but it also seemed too improbable that he could make it out of such a tight situation. Then...then...

Hinamori started moving. That wasn't a good idea, by any account, considering her wounds, but at the same time, could Kira really blame her? It _was_ her former captain that was about to be murdered and, as much as they both proclaimed their loyalty to Soul Society as Shinigami, they had their own loyalties as people, too. He wouldn't blame her for watching. Wouldn't blame her at all...

But it hadn't been her, had it? It was really Aizen there, standing before him; so close and so unnoticed. Kira didn't know from when. Maybe from the start? But that seemed impossible, too. This all seemed like a dream, but surely enough, Kyouka Suigetsu had cut through him like a cold wake-up to reality. Positively, his blood spilling out and the faint feeling in his head was truth. So, it must all be real.

Then everything became quiet and Kira knew for sure that neither Hinamori nor the three captains and Vizard up in the sky were still alive. Or, if they were, they certainly weren't able to do much more than he was, now: Provide a fitting decor for the war setting and soak the ground red with blood. Well, at least they had some use.

Still, Aizen must have been sloppy or lazy or unconcerned because the cut he made wasn't fatal. Alright, it _was _Aizen in consideration, so sloppy and lazy were probably out of the question. The matter was irrelevant, though, and only took away from his fading concentration. Who cared on the 'why'? Or even the 'how' at this point? Everyone's mind was only on the 'when'. As in 'When will all of this end? When will he show an opening?' That 'when', Kira feared, may be never.

Slowly, with great effort and shaking limbs, the lieutenant managed to push himself onto his back, so at least he could look upward where the action was sure to be. There wasn't enough energy left in his body to even aid his own wounds and though he knew, somewhere, Unohana was still lurking in the shadows, healing the wounded, that he wasn't high on the priority list. The captains, the Vizard-- they would be the ones she would work on. As long as he could hang on until they had time for him...

Then his vision cleared enough to spot two familiar figures in the sky above him. One with bright orange hair that stuck out like a sore thumb, their trump card, Kurosaki Ichigo. Why was he even here? What did he owe the Soul Society? He had friends here, was that it? Or maybe because of Kuchiki Rukia and how close they were. Or perhaps there was some deal in play. Whatever the reason, Kira knew Ichigo was willing to risk his life. Anyone here today had come with that dedication, himself included. Then the other figure up there...

Moving casually, gracefully, and ultimately like a fox slinking through the grass, eyeing up its prey: Ichimaru Gin. The very sight of his old captain in those dirty, white clothes nearly sickened Kira. After all, it wasn't just their side that had come willing to throw their lives away. It seemed unrealistic, how the man Kira had followed so closely and so blindly had been just like him, in the end. Ichimaru had never done anything but follow Aizen; never been burdened with the responsibility of thinking and acting on his own. They had both been spoiled by their superiors.

But there was a big difference between the two of them, wasn't there? It was the difference between sleeping alone and waking up next to someone; the difference between hoping you're valuable and knowing you're irreplaceable; the difference between lying on the ground and standing in the sky.

Slowly, Kira's arm lifted itself into the air, fingers stretched upward toward...toward what? Toward the man he wished he could still answer to? Toward the side that sometimes, late at night when private thoughts were actually personal, he wished he had been invited to join? Toward something he could never have? Kira had never been a redundant person or even a man of unnecessary action. This was both of those things, yet somehow he felt like every feeling left in his body was being leaked out through his fingertips. Like maybe somehow if they stretched far enough, those feelings would reach that person.

Nothing came, though, and his arm finally collapsed back by his side. Eventually, his eyes shut out against the sight that was now engraved in his mind and a light sigh escaped his lips. Whatever he thought he needed or wanted to gain from being near Gin again wasn't something he was going to get. With those unsettling thoughts lingering in the back of his mind, Kira let the silence overcome him and waited for Unohana (or whoever may come) to reach him.

**Meanwhile, Up Above**

"My, my," the playful tone sang out, "that boy really never knows when t' quit, does he?"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed considerably at the off-topic and nonsensical question. "What are you talking about?" he demanded, Zangetsu ready and willing to make the next move. This was, he figured, just some sort of distraction.

"Izuru," Gin remarked, tilting his head as if it were obvious. "But I guess ya can't tell, seein' as how ya suck at noticin' that kinda stuff."

"Eh?" Ichigo's lips pulled down in a frown as his eyes briefly shot down to the ground where he knew the fallen lieutenants to be. From here, they certainly looked dead, but if they truly were, then they would have disappeared. Shaking his head, Ichigo focused back in on Gin. "Why does it matter about him, anyway?"

"Hmm." Adopting a thoughtful look for a moment, Gin finally shrugged. "It don't, really, but it's hard t' ignore the feelin's of someone so fond've ya, ain't it?"

"I'm surprised you think that way," Ichigo sneered. Certainly, Aizen had no such feelings. Perhaps Gin wasn't quite as heartless and corrupted. Well, he was still an asshole that needed to die, regardless.

"That ain't nice," the white-clad man complained. "I got feelin's, ya know."

"Not really," Ichigo admitted, shrugging a little half-heartedly. "As far as I can tell, it's just as much your fault that he's down there like that as it is Aizen's."

"I said I got feelin's," Ichimaru repeated. "I didn't say they were as important as followin' my orders." And trying to protect Izuru in any way was, certainly, not in his orders.

"I never pictured you for the type to be so obedient," Ichigo commented. For everything, he sounded more like Ulquiorra at that moment than himself.

Gin grinned a bit wider and leaned in closer to Ichigo. "Well, when ya got no choice, makes the matter real easy, don't it?"

The Shinigami let the meaning of those words sink in, and suddenly his eyes widened considerably. "You mean..."

"It don't matter," Ichimaru said quickly, pointing Shinsou in Ichigo's direction. "Ain't we s'pposed t' be fightin'?"

"You're not going to go down there?" Ichigo wondered, looking down once more. "Wouldn't it be worth it, even if it did upset Aizen?" Ichigo knew if there was someone that had been loyal to him, and hurt so badly because of him, that he would risk his life to be by their side in their final moments. From what he could tell, no one down below would make it through this thing, and he knew Gin knew it, too.

"Upset 'im?" Ichimaru wondered aloud, joining Ichigo in watching Kira's motionless body, before scanning the area where Tousen's remains were splattered. "It'd do a bit more than that."

"Won't you regret it, if you don't?" Why Ichigo cared, he would never know. Still, he couldn't understand how Ichimaru could be quite so heartless. It was a familiar feeling-- the same one he had when Byakuya insisted that obeying the rules was more important than saving his sister. What the hell was wrong with these people?

This caused the older man to laugh, short and with a tinge of bitterness mixed in. "Done enough bad things that regrettin' stuff ain't even in my train of thought." If he started now, the guilt would probably kill him. If Aizen didn't, first.

"I see," Ichigo muttered, frowning before focusing back in on his enemy. "In that case, I'm sure now that I can defeat you."

"Oh?" Gin wondered, flickering his gaze once more to the ground below to find that the wind was blowing a certain patch of ground clean of a new layer of dust. "Looks like maybe ya already did."

* * *

And since that was all sad and stuff, there'll be a...well, it's not going to be happy, but... more closure-y ending? Since we love our closure~


	2. Alternate Ending

The first half (11 paragraphs, if you want to be exact) is the same bit, so feel free to fast-forward to the changes.

* * *

There was no sound, and that was reason enough to be concerned. Of course, in the blurred state of consciousness he was seeing the world through currently, there was no saying that the lieutenant would hear an explosion right next to his head. That was, naturally, another reason for worry.

Slowly, the events that brought him to his current position leaked back through his mind. Everyone was fighting-- no, correction, everyone was _dying_-- around him. Finally, the captains (along with the aid of that strange Vizard) had Aizen cornered. It seemed impossible that he was going down, but it also seemed too improbable that he could make it out of such a tight situation. Then...then...

Hinamori started moving. That wasn't a good idea, by any account, considering her wounds, but at the same time, could Kira really blame her? It _was_ her former captain that was about to be murdered and, as much as they both proclaimed their loyalty to Soul Society as Shinigami, they had their own loyalties as people, too. He wouldn't blame her for watching. Wouldn't blame her at all...

But it hadn't been her, had it? It was really Aizen there, standing before him; so close and so unnoticed. Kira didn't know from when. Maybe from the start? But that seemed impossible, too. This all seemed like a dream, though, but surely enough, Kyouka Suigetsu had cut through him like a cold wake-up to reality. Positively, his blood spilling out and the faint feeling in his head was truth. So, it must all be real.

Then everything became quiet and Kira knew for sure that neither Hinamori nor the three captains and Vizard up in the sky were still alive. Or, if they were, they certainly weren't able to do much more than he was, now: Provide a fitting decor for the war setting and soak the ground red with blood. Well, at least they had some use.

Still, Aizen must have been sloppy or lazy or unconcerned because the cut he made wasn't fatal. Alright, it _was _Aizen in consideration, so sloppy and lazy were probably out of the question. The matter was irrelevant, though, and only took away from his fading concentration. Who cared on the 'why'? Or even the 'how' at this point? Everyone's mind was only on the 'when'. As in 'When will all of this end? When will he show an opening?' That 'when', Kira feared, may be never.

Slowly, with great effort and shaking limbs, the lieutenant managed to push himself onto his back, so at least he could look upward where the action was sure to be. There wasn't enough energy left in his body to even aid his own wounds and though he knew, somewhere, Unohana was still lurking in the shadows, healing the wounded, that he wasn't high on the priority list. The captains, the Vizard-- they would be the ones she would work on. As long as he could hang on until they had time for him...

Then his vision cleared enough to spot two familiar figures in the sky above him. One with bright orange hair that stuck out like a sore thumb, their trump card, Kurosaki Ichigo. Why was he even here? What did he owe the Soul Society? He had friends here, was that it? Or maybe because of Kuchiki Rukia and how close they were. Or perhaps there was some deal in play. Whatever the reason, Kira knew Ichigo was willing to risk his life. Anyone here today had come with that dedication, himself included. Then the other figure up there...

Moving casually, gracefully, and ultimately like a fox slinking through the grass, eyeing up its prey: Ichimaru Gin. The very sight of his old captain in those dirty, white clothes nearly sickened Kira. After all, it wasn't just their side that had come willing to throw their lives away. It seemed unrealistic, how the man Kira had followed so closely and so blindly had been just like him, in the end. Ichimaru had never done anything but follow Aizen; never been burdened with the responsibility of thinking and acting on his own. They had both been spoiled by their superiors.

But there was a big difference between the two of them, wasn't there? It was the difference between sleeping alone and waking up next to someone; the difference between hoping you're valuable and knowing you're irreplaceable; the difference between lying on the ground and standing in the sky.

Slowly, Kira's arm lifted itself into the air, fingers stretched upward toward...toward what? Toward the man he wished he could still answer to? Toward the side that sometimes, late at night when private thoughts were actually personal, he wished he had been invited to join? Toward something he could never have? Kira had never been a redundant person or even a man of unnecessary action. This was both of those things, yet somehow he felt like every feeling left in his body was being leaked out through his fingertips. Like maybe somehow if they stretched far enough, those feelings would reach that person.

"What're ya grabbin' at from all the way down here?"

A sudden, painful jolt of surprise wrenched its way through Kira's entire body. His mind had been so clouded with thought that the figures above had blurred out of his vision. Now, though, one of them was close-- dreadfully close-- and clear as day.

"Ichimaru...Gin." Kira swallowed hard, pausing to bite his tongue against addressing the man towering above him as 'Ichimaru-taichou'.

"My, my," Gin chided, bending down to rest one knee on the ground next to Kira. "Ya sure that's what ya've been callin' me in your head?"

Kira's body only tensed more at the closer proximity. He had no fight left in him, and absolutely no desire to reach for his sword. That was probably what he should have done, according to Yamamoto, but while his loyalty remained intact, his judgment was thrown off by the impending sense of death. He would probably have been called a weak soldier at that point, and he would have had to agree. Weakness, though, was something Kira had made close friends with long ago.

Gin noticed the young Shinigami searching the sky again-- likely for his opponent. "Well, don't ya know Ichigo was just nice enough t' let me come on down here an' talk to ya for a minute?" His voice held a great deal of amusement and casualness, not at all fitting of the situation. "But ya don't seem real chatty."

Kira remained silent for a long while, his brow fixed in its usual contemplative frown. "Why did you?" It made no sense, after all, for him to come here now.

"'Cause I just can't stand seein' ya like this," Ichimaru said in a low voice. His hand finally reached out to make contact, laying lightly on top of Kira's head. "Even if it ain't my fault, ya still blame me, don't ya?"

Kira's eyes closed slowly, more calmed by the touch than he had expected to be. "I..."

"S'alright," Gin assured him. "Ya ain't gotta say anything." Even if he'd never shown it, Gin had adapted well to his former lieutenant's train of thought. Kira was always too willing to please and it made him easy to use. That kind of person, Gin had been raised to believe, was good for nothing other _than _using, but when he experienced it first-hand, he couldn't help but believe differently. Someone devoted to you so intensely had to offer more than just one use. After all, Kira was a talented boy.

In a quick, fluid motion, Gin leaned down fully and pressed his lips briefly to Kira's. Not even a moment passed by before he withdrew and waited. He knew Aizen was aware of his actions, but he also knew Aizen knew that what happened in these moments would stay locked down forever in them. This was his closure and his way of giving Kira his. It was, he figured, the least he could do.

"Ichimaru...taichou..." A single, blue eye studied the form hovering over him.

"Ya should get some rest," Gin suggested, brushing back the splash of hair that obstructed Kira's face. "Ya probably been up for too long, anyway, haven't ya?" When the blonde didn't answer, he grinned freely. "Ya never change, Izuru." This time, after more silence greeted him, the corners of Ichimaru's lips tugged downward into a pained grimace. "Goodbye."

Kira knew that the parting didn't mean that Gin was returning to the battle; not quite yet. It meant the ex-captain could tell just as well as he could that his life was leaving him. Still, he had gained the peace of being near Gin once more and while he had never wished for his life to end this day, he felt a calm acceptance upon the realization that it would.

There was nothing more to say; no sweet words or memorable lines. There was no affection between them, only (finally) an understanding of one another. They were quite different, but the familiarities they shared were enough. Gin had been absolutely nothing and altogether everything to him, and Kira's role was similar enough that he knew exactly where he stood. Finally, the unbearable distance he had always felt between himself and his captain's back was crushed and trampled.

_" This man," _Kira thought, his fingers finding the convenient spaces in between Gin's own. _"He isn't without feeling. He isn't without understanding. He's just without..."_

A sigh signaled the end of Kira's life as his fingers melted away into spirit particles, leaving Gin's hand to grip nothing but air.

_"...a choice."_

* * *

Liiiiiike I said. Not necessarily happy, but better than 'LOL, NOPE, HE CAN DIE ALONE'.

So hopefully, between the two endings, this satisfies most of your emotional receptors.


End file.
